An Important Press Announcement By Dennis The Peasant: LINGERE Media Formed

For Immediate Release

Contact:
Dennis T. Peasant
c/o
Karl Rove
White House
Crawford, TX

New Blog Venture Unveils All-Star Contributors, Prepares for November Debut

LINGERE Media to bring together large numbers of half-assed bloggers in a half-assed venture in a half-assed attempt at creating a half-assed new media. This will be done in a half-assed manner, without funding, advertising, a business plan or a clue. We will have a nice unveiling party at the Westerville “Denny’s” on November 16, though.

WESTERVILLE, Ohio, Nov. 1, 2005 – LINGERE (The League of Independent News Gathers Who’ll Earn Respect Eventually) Media, a new blogging venture designed to bring together top online writers, journalists and commentators under a single umbrella that might be a portal, a web site, or something completely different tomorrow if we think of it, today unveiled its editorial board as it prepares for its formal debut this month.

The announcement comes as LINGERE Media works on today’s version of its vision of coalescing the internet’s brightest minds and most compelling content into a single source that will be shoehorned into your standard old media format. This, in turn, will complement and define 21st Century journalism... in our dreams. The company will detail the umpteenth version of its newest vision and latest strategy -- and perhaps a new name (what the fuck, right?) -- at an invitation-only Westerville event slated for November 16.

LINGERE Media today revealed that its editorial board members and contributors include Dennis T. Peasant, one of the world's most-read bloggers; C. Babbington Cudworth, editor of the Westerville Daily Movement; Noam Fernworthy, former hippy and outed CIA undercover agent; Elmer Lunt, who reads the 6 AM farm and traffic reports on WENE-AM (Westerville); and Waldo P. Suggins, a dyslexic accountant who works for me and has way too much free time on his hands.

Other luminaries on LINGERE’s current roster of editorial board members include:

• Treeflower Fernworthy, co-owner and present manager of the Westerville Commune and Organic Free Range Tofu Ranch and Cooperative, reigning arm-wrestling champion of Westerville for 15 years running, and former president of the National Organization of Female Tofu Ranchers’ Westerville chapter.

• Kevy Bellouche, founder and choirmaster of the Westerville Gay Men’s Chorus, winner of the Central Ohio Liza Minnelli Award for Creative Choreography for 10 years running, and owner of The House of Muu Muus, the one stop solution for all your loungewear needs.

• George Dill, Professor and Chairperson of the Ethnic Studies and Journalism Departments at the Central Ohio Institute of Spot Welding, Burger Flipping and Pig Farming.

• Gaston LePlop, owner and head chef of Chez Methane, Central Ohio’s only 2 star restaurant with an all-bean menu.

The company's November Westerville gathering will include, both online and in-person, of some of the most thoughtful, noteworthy industry leaders and influencers in blogging, journalism, and pig farming. Presently we have Scott “Carrot Top” Thompson tentatively scheduled to give the keynote address, “Why Do Your Undies Always Bunch At The Wrong Time?” (Note: If Scott can’t make it, Roger L. Simon will give the keynote; the topic will be “The Art Of The Deal”). Other events will include roadmap discussions with LINGERE's founders, panel discussions on blogging, journalism and our obvious lack of advertising and sponsors, as well as free food, including little cocktail weenies, trail mix and green olives.

For more information on LINGERE’s Westerville event, please contact Effie at the offices of Dennis The Peasant, Westerville, Ohio.

About LINGERE Media

LINGERE Media is a new blogging venture designed to bring together some of the internet’s more obvious fast-buck artists and will hopefully cobble together a single source that will, in our dreams, complement and re-define journalism in the 21st century, which we can then unload on a gullible public via a stock offering. Upon its official debut in November 2005, LINGERE Media will feature content from over 300, no 70, no 150, no, make it 70 half-assed bloggers. The company was founded in 2004 by acclaimed accountant and blogger Dennis The Peasant and Cletus Barnwell, cesspool manager, hog calling champion, and author of the blog What Smell?

Comments

[Eric Blair]

Heh.

[richard mcenroe]

Can I have the Mid-Atlantic franchise? My old first sergeant said I was born to MALINGERE...

[Dan from Madison]

Since I am one seriously half-assed blogger, you GOT to get me in on the ground floor of this!!! Hey, I am a half-assed podcaster too and getting more and more assed all the time!

[wxjames]

Sit down, Dan, you're all ass. (whoopy cushion in place)

[Daniel]

I'm worried Dennis: too much proper ridicule might actually embarrass them just enough to get them up off their asses just enough, and with just enough time, to save the sinking (sunk?) ship and thus deny me the pleasure of seeing Roger fable his way out of his failure. Ridicule or the noose or a deadline--it is Nov. 16th is it not?, have a way of focusing the mind. Isn't this better done after the great launch (and crash and burn)? I can't help but think, especially with all the good and open advice you have given to them (and anyone else willing to listen) during the last few weeks about the advertising part of the 'biz that somewhere deep down in the Peasant's kind soul (I know, I know, don't tell Rove!) he is still on board so to speak. Though I'm confident Roger doesn't appreciate your kind heart, having not dealt with Charles, about him I have no opinion. But all this is silly, and certainly wrong. Carry on, carry on! Back to my quiet exile.

[Elmo]

"This morning, shortly after 11 o’clock, comedy struck this little house in Dibbley road. Sudden, violent comedy."

[wxjames]

Mary Jane made breakfast, eggs and hemp.
Hahahahahahahahaha
Well, it seemed funny then.

[BeckyJ]

I don't have a blog. I just leave snarky comments on others. Can I join? Pleasepleasepleaseplease?