The Return Of... This Week's Amanda Sentence!

Sentence #1:

 

I remember that spate of “terror sex” articles and my reaction was, “Do people really need a terrorist attack to remind them that their nether regions have a use besides sitting on your ass?”

 

34 words. Amanda uses her nether regions to sit on her ass? Sounds difficult to me... It seems our Amanda knows as much about anatomy as she does about everything else. And I don't know about you, but to me, any sex Amanda is involved in qualifies as terror sex.

 

Sentence #2:

 

Tonight at 7:30 I’m doing a reading and making a general presentation about online feminism and the opportunities for self-expression online.

 

22 words. "Online feminism"? As opposed to what? Offline feminism? Or using your nether regions to sit on your ass?

 

Sentence #3:

 

Confession: I’m wearing my pajamas right now.  But mostly because I’m making a speech tonight at St. Edward’s, and I don’t want to get dressed for it yet. 

 

28 words. This wins the special jury prize for completely random punctuation.

 

Sentence #4:

 

The NY Times shifts most of the blame onto the blogs for the hoax, even though I first heard it on the mainstream media and didn’t report on it until I got it from the mainstream media. 

 

37 words. So, not to be outdone, Amanda Marcotte shifts most of the blame upon the mainstream media for the hoax.

 

Sentence #5:

 

My whole life, working out has been one of the areas where I feel like I can zone out and not be constantly micromanaging my status as a sex object for others to look at.

 

35 words. I thought one of the primary points of being a feminist was rejecting the idea that a woman should feel the need to be a sex object. Now Amanda's telling us that feminism is about micromanaging one's status as a sex object... Isn't that the sort of thing Britney Spears and Madonna does? I wonder if Amanda hums "Let's Get Physical" when she's working out.

 

Sentence #6:

 

She explains, interestingly, that the people to reach out to are Wiccans and Unitarians, who generally don’t get included in the “people of faith” wide net and are well aware that the net will get much smaller once the broad net has performed its job.

 

45 words. "Wiccans and Unitarians"? An excellent example of the comedic genius of Amanda Marcotte.

 

Sentence #7:

 

Obama’s plans to start investing in alternative energy come to mind as a superior way to spend the money and create jobs to replace the ones lost by GM’s inevitable downfall.

 

31 words. Great idea. Obama will pull out his magic pixie dust and all of the sudden there will be tens of thousands of jobs processing ethanol and tending to windmill farms for the former auto workers and middle management types of GM... right there in Detroit. I don't know about you, but I can hardly wait.

 

Sentence #8:

 

In writing this post, I want to make one thing very clear up front: I do not like the movie “Dirty Dancing”.

 

22 words. Too butch?

 

Sentence #9:

 

Not too many immigrants who are under the “influence” of laws in countries they don’t live in.

 

17 words. Ah, the cosmic riddle that is an Amanda sentence.

Comments

[Flyby Reader]

#3: good grief, St. Edward's invited her back?!?

[Dennis The Peasant]

Evidently they have neither shame nor a clue.

[Flyby Reader]

Spaulding, by the way, had an observation about Prop 8 that took my breath away: "Think of what the millions of dollars poured into California’s Prop 8 effort could have done to help the homeless, the working poor, the people suffering in the imploding economy. Instead, here we see professed people of faith turning a blind eye to the less fortunate . . ."

Let's leave aside the millions--billions?--the presidential candidates--or Obama specifically, for whom, yes, I voted--spent that could have otherwise helped "the homeless, the working poor," etc. That's too easy and perhaps too broad a target. And let's set aside the fact that more was apparently spent against Prop 8 than for it. Opponents certainly had a right to spend at least much as supporters did.

Let's look instead at what was apparently the single-biggest donor on either side of Prop 8: the California Teachers Association, which, calvoter.org tells me, spent $1.313 million against it through 10/18. I don't suppose pandagon is the place to learn what, exactly, this has to do with education and teacher labor issues, on which one might otherwise expect a teachers' association to spend its money? Or why the teachers' union didn't spent that money on, say, ways to help improve schools serving the working poor?

For the record, as a 4th-degree K of C, I have more than my share of qualms about the $1.25 million the order reportedly spent in support of Prop 8. But those qualms aren't much affected by what pandagon might otherwise call the bleatings of a concern troll . . .

[Dennis The Peasant]

FR-

Pam Spaulding's ramblings and rants about the passage of Prop 8 have been fascinating.

If you go back to Nov. 5, you will see her setting aside her anguish at its defeat and make a stab at introspection when she comes to understand that black and latino voters - not whites - voted heavily against the measure. Without the usual suspects to blame, and not wanting to go in the direction pointed, she starts wondering if constructive engagement (as opposed to what she and Pandagon normally do) might be a wiser course.

That mood - and it really wasn't much more than that - lasted a couple of days, and then it was back to oversimplifying, overgeneralizing and then demonizing white Christians. It was obvious that she'd never actually take up the option of constructive engagement, though. After all, that sort of thing requires thought, hard work, good will and lots of patience, and none of those particular virtues appear in overabundance at Pandagon.

It is interesting to note that neither the tone nor outlook of Pandagon has changed a whit with the election of Obama. Taylor, Spaulding and Marcotte continue to rail against their host of real and imagined enemies as if McCain had won in a landslide. And by and large, the only references to Obama winning are in the context of mocking Republicans.

Not surprising, I suppose... haters hate, it's what they do. (It's worth noting that lots of right wing sites, like Michelle Malkin's, haven't changed a whit, either).

[Surreal American]

And by and large, the only references to Obama winning are in the context of mocking Republicans.

Dennis,

In spite of the volume of words they devoted to the 2008 election, Obama's victory doesn't mean all that much in Marcotteland. Setting Obama's racial background aside , Pandagonians are still faced with a president-to-be that is male and has a solid (so far) record of monogamous heterosexuality. What's so revolutionary about that?

(It's worth noting that lots of right wing sites, like Michelle Malkin's, haven't changed a whit, either).

A lot of punditry (both right and left) that operated under the erstwhile assurances of Karl Rove's Permanent Republican Majority are finding it difficult to adjust to the GOP's reversal of fortunes. Liberal sites had the luxury of being unblemished with the prospect of political power while the wingnuts grew smug and complacent.

I wouldn't say that the right wing sites are completely unchanged, however. Bottom-feeding websites such as Free Republic have reverted back to their Clinton-era paranoia; made stronger by That One's "exotic" pedigree. Meanwhile LGF and it's "anti-idiotarian" spin-off sites are suddenly more comfortable with entertaining pro-idiotic notions.

As a disaffected Dem, I became increasingly uncomfortable with the reckless conspiracy-mongering that emerged from some quarters on the Left regarding the Bush Administration. I do confess to finding the inversed positions of certain websites to be somewhat interesting, but mostly amusing.

[Surreal American]

My whole life, working out has been one of the areas where I feel like I can zone out and not be constantly micromanaging my status as a sex object for others to look at.

I was under the impression that working out was part and parcel of micromanaging one's status a sex object.

[Surreal American]

Er, make that "one's status *as* a sex object."

[Flyby Reader]

Dennis, Surreal--Well, yeah, a common theme here, one Dennis has pounded before and I therefore won't revisit at length: the rampant general stupidity of teh internets. I watched a local website dedicated to local issues in Illinois nearly melt down over wholly predictable comments regarding the presidential campaign--comments made as if the outcome of the Illinois vote were ever in doubt! By contrast, there were very few, scattered, and desultory comments about a vote for calling a state constitutional convention. But, heck, why should there have been? Illinois politics is known as a model of virtue throughout the world, eh?

Sincere thanks, Dennis, for being an island of sanity or humor in an ocean of stupidity . . .

[Simon]

In Amanda's latest - about Selma Hayek's tits, gems abound -

"We don’t joke about vaginas in the same way we joke about dicks, even though they work in similar ways. Having a vagina isn’t yet something that you’re supposed to find a little silly amongst larger feelings of pride."

Not yet, but we can look forward to the day.

"Breasts especially invite this sort of attention, because they’re a lot closer to your face than your genitals are."

Only the big issues at Panda.

[Flyby Reader]

Damn you, Simon, you made me go read it. Here's another gem: "But dick jokes resemble, to my mind, lolcats---they’re a way for guys to admit that this part of their lives is a little silly, but most feelings are affection."

[Uncle Fester]

I have to agree with Amanda. It ain't easy being a sex object. The hardest part is cleaning the lipstick off the top of my head; girls always want to kiss it for some reason.