This Week's Amanda Post... The Ticking Timebomb Edition

 

Leonard Pinth-Garnell here...

Thankfully, as we are now approaching Post-Wodgerism here at Dennis the Peasant, allowing, as it were, we have all the more time for...

Bad Femnist Blogging!

And of course, when you think bad femnist blogging, you can't help think of the Vaginal Princess herself...

Amanda Marcotte!

So, with that in mind, let's visit a post of Amanda's that has generated quite a bit of blogospheric interest...

Not A Biological Clock Gone Haywire

Amazingly bad, wasn't it?

I suppose we could muster any number of arguments to refute Ms. Marcotte's argument (?), but we've found that Darlene Click of Protein Wisdom has gutted Amanduh here, Jeff Goldstein of that same Protein Wisdom has gutted Amanda here, and the estimable Mr. David Thompson has abused her intellectual pretentions here.

Who are we to pile on?

Instead, we have contacted that renowned academic, Mr. Dr. Professor Dennis T. Peasant, Ph.D., adjunct associate professor of archeology at the Westerville Institute of Technology (and visiting professor of philosophy at the University of Wallamaloo)...

 

... and asked him for his professorial opinion as to whether women end up popping out rug rats because they are, for the most part, unthinking bundles of raging hormones, or...

 

... because the calculated, subtle oppression of The Patriarchy™ - in the form of gender-specific expectations regarding child rearing and whatnot - brainwashes impressionable featherheads like Amanda into bumpin' ugly and then foregoing the Big Scrape, thereby producing yet more climate-changing carbon-based life forms.

Here's an excerpt of Mr. Dr. Professor Peasant's thoughts:

As much as I hate to admit it, I think The Bimbo (Amanda Marcotte - L. P.-G.) may be on to something. Just last week I lead an archeological team from the Westerville Institute of Technology on a survey of a vast cave complex just outside the city limits. This particular complex had been used by hillbillies on their annual migration from Bean Oller, West Virginia to Shreve, Ohio for nearly a century. After peeling the NASCAR and Ron Paul bumperstickers off the cave walls, we found this ancient cave drawing:

Now clearly no self-respecting hillbilly would put something like that on a cave wall. Especially in a cave they were using. But there it was. So we decided to check the place out to see if we could find any other drawings that might suggest a femnist infestation back in pre-historical times.

Sure enough, in less than twenty minutes, we ended up finding the motherlode of proto-femnist wall writings:

  

 

It took us a long time (nearly two hours) to decipher this writings, being that the language used by proto-femnists was needlessly complex and confusing, featuring tortured syntactic structures and bizarre grammatical constructs. Nevertheless, it was deciphered and can now reveal the fruits of our labors. Below is the transcript...

Reginald the Caveman: Clive, old bean, haven't seen you in ages.

Clive the Caveman: Reggie, you're looking grand. How's hunting?

Reginald: Smashing, just smashing. As a matter of fact, could you use some brontosaurus meat? We've just killed one over by the tar pits, and I'm afraid we'll never be able to eat it all before the meat turns.

Clive: Good of you to ask, Reg. I'll be happy to take some... if it isn't an imposition.

Reginald: Not at all, not at all. Happy to share. You'd do the same for me, I'm sure...

Clive: Before I head over the pits, would you mind if I asked you a personal question?

Reginald: Of course not.

Clive: Your Hortense is roughly the same age as my Victoria. Has she been acting, well, different lately?

Reginald: Different? No, can't say I've noticed anything. What do you mean by different?

Clive: Last night was a perfect example. We'd just finished scrogging and were chewing on some jub-jub leaves when Victoria says, "Clive, it's time you started covering the one-eyed snake when we scrog. I'm tired of raising children. I need some 'me' time. I need to self-actualize."

Reginald: Lord.

Clive: That's what I thought. And it isn't the first time she's said it, either.

Reginald: I suppose you've given her the whole 'continuation of the species' argument?

Clive: Of course. 

Reginald: This is serious, Clive.

Clive: Quite so, Reggie. If Victoria and Hortense come to the conclusion that propagation of the species and child-rearing is a cultural construct rather than a biological imperative, we're going be spending all our free time pushing prams and washing nappies.

Reginald: It's either that or we go the way of the neanderthals. Not good.

Clive: Not good, indeed.

Reginald: How about this - it's only a thought - why don't we devise a diabolically clever and fiendishly subtle set of oppressive societal expectations that will trap women in a vicious cycle of self-defeating behaviors that guarantees male supremacy forever.

Clive: Smashing.

Reginald: Thanks, old bean.

Clive: Don't mention it. What do you think we should call this system of oppression?

Reginald: Hum... I don't rightly know.

Clive: I say, let's ask Pat and Archie! They've got a gift for that sort of thing.

Reginald: Clive, I think you're onto something...

Unfortunately, the wall writings were, at this point, terminated by an equally ancient wall painting we have yet to understand...

 

Thank you, Mr. Dr. Professor Peasant.

This is Leonard Pinth-Garnell, signing off for now...

 

Comments

[TerryH]

What was John Edwards thinking when he brought Ms. Amanda into his campaign?

[jcw]

TerryH, thinking is the important word in your sentence. And please, the correct spelling is Amanduh.

[Jeff G]

Darleen wrote the post at the first link, I the post at the second link.

Don't want to saddle Darleen with my philosophical baggage. She can speak well enough for herself.

[TerryH]

Well, duh. I should have known that.

I stand corrected.

[TerryH]

In reference to jcw @ 09:36

[Dennis The Peasant]

Jeff G.-

Duly noted and corrected. Sorry about that.

[Dennis The Peasant]

TerryH-

Given what we now know about Edwards, I think it fair to say he was probably trolling for someone to bump ugly with.

[Wollf]

*clap,clap,clap*....M'Lady and were discussing this exact same thing last evening. She disagreed with me. I smacked her with the club and dragged her back to the cave........

(damm, I hope she never reads this......)