Hey, if a bereft-of-any-discernible-talent asshole like Charles Johnson can sell calendars to the clueless, well, what the fuck... Right? I might as well cash in on that scam myself. Here goes:
Announcing the 2010 Dennis the Peasant Photo Calendar...
Now available at dennisthepeasant.typepad.com in time for Christmas and the New Year — the Dennis the Peasant 2010 Calendar, featuring 13 beautiful high resolution versions of photographs that have never seen the light of day. It's $54.99, dennisthepeasant.typepad.com handles all the printing and shipping, dennisthepeasant.typepad.com gets $54.99 bucks, and I get the difference. Not a bad deal for all involved. Kind of the same deal I got out of Roger L. Simon.
Here's a non-embedded preview of the DtP 2010 calendar:
January. Entitled "Hunting the Shreve Swamp Monster, Somewhere Near Shreve, Ohio".
February. Entitled "More Troubled Automotive Assets".
March. Entitled "Further Erosion of Our Constitutional Rights, somewhere near Obetz, Ohio".
April. Entitled "Adapted for Hydrogen".
May. Entitled "Amanda Marcotte Headlines Disney On Ice in Apple Creek, Ohio".
June. Entitled "Death of $28 Worth of Stuffed Toys, Plus A Pillow".
July. Entitled "I Blame Bush".
August. Entitled "Impressions: Dog Foot, Dog Nose, Furry Dog Bed".
September. Entitled "The Decline and Fall of Western Civilization, Central Ohio Edition".
October. Entitled "The Mad Squirrel of Westerville Stalks The Unwary, 2009".
November. Entitled "Sarah Palin Ate My Crab Dinner, Alaska, 2008".
December. Entitled "Invited to Christmas at Andrew Sullivan's House".
Number 13?
What else?
OK chumps, send the cash... And make it snappy.
If you actually make this and the price is 19.99 I am in.
Posted by: Dan from Madison | November 24, 2009 at 07:59 PM
I'm in for three.
But frankly, I'm hoping for a nudie calendar where every month is that bombshell blonde in the blue top (December). The rack on this broad!
Posted by: Jim Ryan | November 24, 2009 at 08:08 PM
I beg to differ, re:September. If you look at it the right way, bungee cords are the epitome of inventiveness, and civilization. Hmmm, somehow that doesn't sound quite right, but I'll go with it nonetheless.
Posted by: Allen | November 24, 2009 at 08:11 PM
What happens in Ohio, really should stay in Ohio. !!!
Posted by: Guesst | November 25, 2009 at 12:02 AM
"...bereft-of-any-discernible-talent asshole like Charles Johnson..."
Dennis. I would remind you that many great artists were not appreciated in their own lifetime....
Posted by: Bweep | November 26, 2009 at 12:27 PM
Bweep, shouldn't you be telling that to Chas himself? Might be more -ahem- productive that way.
Dennis, put one together (use duct tape if necessary), autograph the bonus pic, and I'm in for a copy.
Two if you can make the second in month-at-glance for a six hole binder format.
Posted by: ThomasD | November 26, 2009 at 12:38 PM
Bweep-
And Charles will certainly not be appreciated in my lifetime. That's for damn sure.
Posted by: Dennis The Peasant | November 26, 2009 at 01:44 PM