Hey, Where's The Shortest, One-Legged, One-Armed Guy In This Bar?

Well, it seems Al Franken is establishing himself as the senate's Norman Mailer:

Al Franken, the Democrat from Minnesota who won election to the Senate after a successful career as a comic and author, has begun to show the sharp-tongued side of his personality by ripping into GOP staffers behind the scenes.

Lefties are, of course, thrilled. In their universe, a U.S. senator bitching out helpless staffers constitutes speaking truth to power. Then again, when your idea of fearless leadership is what Bambi Obama does, maybe tearing into the hired help - somebody else's hired help, that is - is a close to macho as you can get.

My take on Al Franken is a bit different.

If you're a normal kind of guy, you really only have to watch Franken for about five minutes before you understand the whole "I'm a badass" routine he's putting down. We've all met his type before. He's the asshole that walks into a bar and proceeds to pick a fight with the shortest guy in said bar - preferably a guy with some sort of physical handicap as well - to prove his manhood. That's Al Franken: He's looking to fight anyone who can't fight back. In his mind, that demonstrates he's a man's man.

Of course, men who are comfortable with themselves as men don't do that sort of thing. They don't have a need to beat up people to prove themselves. Nor do they run around berating people who cannot berate back without fear of losing their livelihood. Which brings me back to the whole Norman Mailer thing. You know, if Mailer had been endowed beyond the size of a cocktail weenie, he wouldn't have felt compelled to act the way he did. There wouldn't have been a need for the bluster and random violence to prove his manhood.

I suspect it's the same with Al Franken: His behavior boils down more to an issue of endowment than an issue of politics. He's probably the smallest guy in any bar, even if he isn't the shortest.

Comments

[David]

Related: fuck YOU, Minnesota, for sending this piece o' ivy league crap to national office. Not that there wasn't the usual cheating of course, but the fact that it was close at all is telling . . .

I used to be proud of the fact that I was born in Minnesota. My great-grandfather homesteaded there, fought in the Civil War (Minnesota artillery), came back, and lived happily ever after. The family he started prospered and continued. Now the place is full of fuckwits who can't or won't recognize a 'tard when they see one.

Al Franken. How completely, totally and utterly embarrassing and shameful. Fucking Minnesota. Good job, gopher state.

[andrew]

"successful career as a comic and author,"

A "successful" career? I can't believe anyone could write that with a straight face.

[Dennis The Peasant]

It certainly shows media bias, that's for sure.

[Simon]

On the other hand Husker Du.

[richard mcenroe]

In Franken's defense, he is also suffering a fair amount of neurological and psychological trauma he inflicted on himself sampling his own goods during his stint as SNL's office candyman.

Call his office and try to order a speedball, just for old time's sake...

[LP Steve]

On the other other hand, Garrison Keillor. Point goes to David.

[Dennis The Peasant]

Don't forget The Replacements. Let It Be and Tim were about as good as it gets.

So, we've got Husker Du and The Replacements vs. Al Franken and Garrison Keillor...

Sorry, Minnesota, nothing can outweigh the pain of a Franken/Keillor tag team.

[Lefty]

We're talking about a staffer for Bob Corker who is always the smallest man in the room wherever he goes. So lil Bobby showed up at Franken's office with his goon squad in tow in case he needed somebody to defend him. The staffer mouthed off on cue to a sitting US senator and Franken set him straight.

Make up your minds guys. Either Al Franken is the big bad ogre of the Senate or he's a wanker, can't be both, unless you're intimidated by wankers. Now that I think of it you were scared to death of Saddam Hussein. Never mind.

Oh and Franken received seven Emmy nominations and three Emmy Awards for his television writing and production. He's had 5 NY Times bestsellers and 3 went to #1s. And those are legit numbers unlike the wingnut books that are bought in bulk and given away as loss leaders for magazine subscriptions no one reads.

[Dennis The Peasant]

Glenn Beck has been on the NYT Bestseller list, too. So that distinction means what, exactly? Validation?

And bitching out other senator's female staffers is OK, too? You don't have a problem with that? That's the true test of manhood? Yelling at the female hired help?

And nobody here said Al Franken is an ogre. I certainly didn't. To be an ogre you have to pose a real threat. Franken's just a bully. A big-talking, under-endowed, over-compensating empty suit.

Norman Mailer had achievements as well. That doesn't change the fact that he was a genuinely horrible human being.

[David]

"Either Al Franken is the big bad ogre of the Senate or he's a wanker, can't be both, unless you're intimidated by wankers."

What don't you understand? He's got little dick syndrome. A Napoleon complex. Short man's disease. No big deal. Happens everywhere. The problem is that the little fellow has power. The worst thing that can happen when someone with short man's disease who has no power gets pissed is that -- maybe -- someone gets hurt. The worst thing that can happen -- so far -- when someone like this Harvard fuckwit who has short man's disease gets ACTUAL POWER is that the shittiest bill ever gets passed. If you don't fear morons who have power, you're either a tool or a Democrat (cue Lefty whinging about Bush).

Understand? Consequences. They exist. Which is why I'm pissed at Minnesota for giving us this walking, talking pile of excrescences.