No Polar Bears Were Harmed In The Production Of This Post...

We are in the hands of morons. Actually, we are in the hands of the Carter Administration. But I repeat myself:

This year’s White House Easter Egg roll will be eggs-actly what the bunny ordered. The environmentally concerned bunny, that is.

A White House announcement Monday said the eggs at this year’s April 5 roll will be made from paperboard that contains no wood fibers from endangered forests, is recyclable and features vegetable-oil based inks and a water-based coating.

Who gives a fuck? I mean, really? Who? What kind of self-righteous twat would give a flying fuck about something that inconsequential? And what sort of super-genius would think it necessary to make a production out of being the sort of self-righteous twat other self-righteous twats look up to?

We have an Administration that cannot, collectively, find its ass with two hands and a mirror, and yet somewhere in that hive there's a mindless drone drawing a federal paycheck for ensuring that no polar bears were harmed by putting on a fucking easter egg hunt.

We all knew these four years were going to be bad. But do they have to be this bad?

Note: I'm half of a mind to buy a fucking cute and fuzzy bunny and release it in the back yard just for the joy of watching Gruesome, Spazz and Little Elvis tear it to pieces. Those dogs haven't offed a rodent in months... 

Comments

[PIRGatory]

"Little Johnny, don't toss that once-in-a-lifetime souvenir paperboard and impermanent ink eco-egg with the Presidential signatures on it in the garbage; better to throw it in the plastic recycling bin with the plastic water bottles and yogurt cups we've washed out with potable water for the gas-guzzling truck to pick-up."

[Jim Ryan]

This is a joke, right? Because the forests are dying.

You'd probably even vote for a woman who hunted wolves. No, you wouldn't. No one could be that heartless. I'll bet you use multiple squares to wipe, though. Wouldn't put it past you.

[Allen]

Dennis, you can purchase your very own Whitehouse Easter Eggs here

They're only $7.50 an egg. Just think how you will be the envy of all your friends. Wanna bet all this was payed for by Stimulus money?

Laser like focus on the economy.

[Zimriel]

And if you release a RABBIT, that record of non-RODENT-offing will remain pristine.

[just passin by]

The Messiah doesn't understand that eggs are naturally biodegradable?

[JeffS]

You're assuming that the White House isn't just saying how environmentally sensitive those eggs are. I mean, they could be using dye kits from the nearest Wal-Mart, and pocketing the difference.

That's the Chicago Way™, after all.

[harvey]

What, no traditional free-range brown eggs and hemp totes WH Easter??

[Dennis the Peasant]

Are you telling me wabbits ain't wodents? Or what?

[Tim]

OK, so no rabbits. Suppose we build a large, paperboard that contains no wood fibers from endangered forests badger?

[scott]

You know what else contains "no wood fibers from endangered forests" and is also recyclable?

Yea... real eggs.

[TmjUtah]

I guess my compost pile is fatally compromised by the five years' worth of Saturday morning eggshells that have found their way out to Old Smokey.

I guess all those lush tomatoes and vibrant flowers in their lovingly mulched and drip irrigated beds have been LIES, all DAMNED LIES!

Oh well. I'm off to burn a tractor tire. Just have to find the marshmallows...

[aelfheld]

Clade Glires, Order Lagomorpha, Family Leporidae.

[richard mcenroe]

Dennis, if it makes you feel any better, next year's hyperinflated currency is schedule to be printed on recycled paper. Copies of the Constitution.

[Blast Hardcheese]

Tim,

Whatever you make it out of, just make sure it crushes easily. That way, it won't hurt as much when the French Taunters throw it back at us.

Oh, and what in damnhell is so un-environmentally-friendly about a FRICKIN' EGG? It's ALREADY biodegradable!

[jcw]

Geez people. Its not that eggs aren't environmentally friendly, it's that chickens are being forced to lay those eggs by the white patriarchy.

[Bill]

Welease Woger the Wabbit!

[dndrko]

I think you are insulting the Carter administration.

[richard mcenroe]

I wouldn't have thought that possible, but you could be right, DD...