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Enough Already...

For all of the crummy things I managed to do in my 52 years of sinning, at least it can be said that no one can call me a lawyer. I loathe lawyers, and always have. On a professional level, any CPA would view a lawyer much in the way a cobra regards a mongoose. Given that, the idea that I would be interested in burning bandwidth over President Obama's choice of Sonia Studebaker - or whatever her name is - for the Supreme Court should appear to all of you as a bit far-fetched. And for those of you who don't take hints all that well, let me spell it out...

This is going to be a Sonia Sotomayer-free zone. Period.

Here are a few of the many reasons for this state of affairs:

1)  I ain't a fuckin' lawyer, so the idea that I can provide insight as to her qualifications, etc. is pretty much a laugh waiting to happen. OK?

2)  You ain't a fuckin' lawyer either. So the idea you can provide insight is also a laugh waiting to happen. OK?

3)  Even if you are a lawyer, chances are you don't do much in the area of constitutional law. Just because you're a fuckin' lawyer doesn't mean you know all aspects of the law. So unless you have some kick-ass constitutional law qualficiations, put a sock in it.

4)  And besides, if you are a kick-ass constitutional lawyer, what the hell are you doing at my site? Being here pretty much disqualfies you on the grounds that you lack sound judgment.

5)  Regurgitating talking points from paid political partisans and journalists (99% of whom are journalists because they were too stupid to get into law school) does not qualify as either educational or interesting.

6)  Two weeks ago none of you had the faintest fuckin' idea of who Sonia Studebaker was.

7)  There's no chance she won't be confirmed. So, if you're a Democrat you're getting huffy for no particular reason, and if you're a Republican you've simply decided that hitting yourself over the head with a 2x4 sounds like a good idea.

8)  Yeah, yeah, yeah... She said a Latina woman is better than a white man. Blah, blah, blah, woof, woof, woof and big fuckin' deal. It's not like you haven't heard that sort of racial/gender/identity bullshit out of the mouth of half the "persons of color" and/or femnist womyn you've dealt with over the past 20 years. It's part of the joy of being a white male. Deal with it.

So that's it. If you want to tell penis jokes or point out that Dr. Steven Chu appears to pretty much be a moron, this is the place to be. If you want to argue over Sonia, take it elsewhere.

I Am Not A United Way Agency...

Since when was this blog supposed to be about me working diligently - without compensation - to ensure a pleasurable reading experience for you? Where did you get the idea I was some sort of United Way agency for blog readers? What gave you the idea that I had - or have - any sort of obligation to you?

Coming to DtP is entirely voluntary on everyone's part, including mine. And given the price I charge, I cannot understand what all the bitching is about. If I am no longer funny, find another site that is. If you don't like my political orientation, find another site more in tune with your beliefs. That's up to you...

What I cannot stress enough is this:

This is my blog.
It is about ME having fun.
It is about MY enjoyment.

Now here comes the important part, so pay attention:

You, on the other hand, are just along for the ride.
This blog is NOT about YOU having fun.
It is NOT about YOUR enjoyment.
Whether you stay or go doesn't matter.

If any of you want to plunk down cold hard cash for me to write, then I will take your editorial comments into consideration as I do so. Until that day comes (and it never will), I'll continue to do whatever I want. Sorry, but that's the way life works...

So, if I no longer amuse you, feel free to move on. If you cannot abide my political opinions, don't feel an obligation to experience further outrage. If you feel the need to let me know of your disappointment, understand that you only need to do so once before exiting.

There is no functioning Complaint Dept. at this site. Is that now clear?

Note: I'm in the middle of an IRS field audit and trying to get a mess of returns done by the 15th; at the moment I just don't have the time to babysit this site. Ergo, comments are closed on all posts until I have the time to monitor commenting. Between now and that happy time, I'd ask those of you with enough time on your hands to continue coming back here just to experience the unpleasantness of it all to consider finding a new hobby. I try to be patient with everyone, but there are limits... After all, I am an asshole, not a United Way agency.

Fun With Accounting: Mark to Market

Several lost souls have requested that I provide a few thoughts on the whole 'mark to market' accounting controversy. I will be happy to do so, but not right now. I'm in the middle of tax season crush and I have the IRS conducting a limited field audit at one client's offices this Thursday and Friday. I'll get around to it as soon as I can, and will do so largely because I think most of the people commenting on 'mark to market' have missed the essential bone of contention.

Me And HTML...

One of the downsides of being clueless is this: By the time you're no longer clueless, it's too late. So it is with ol' Dennis. I didn't realize that ExpressionEngine will not do much of anything without serious tweaking via HTML. Guess who doesn't know HTML?

That's right...

Fortunately, one of SondraK's buddies is helping me out with the basics, but it looks like I'm going to be needing to rope me an HTML geek if I want the new DTP to look and act as spiffy as I'd like. Things always end up being far more complicated than they need be.

So... Be patient. I'll have the new site up and running at some point in the next week or so. All I have to do is find an HTML geek who wants to work and I'll be up and running in no time. If any of you - my faithful readers - are HTML geeks who want to pick up some coin, email me.

I Have Given Up...

Well, all I can say is that Typepad has deteriorated to the point of being unusable. I've been trying to import and format my last speech to Council for a week, and for my trouble what I'm getting is a total Typepad freeze. Simply put, Typepad released blogging software that should never have made it out of beta testing. Therefore, I am switching to Expression Engine as soon as is possible. My new address will be as follows:

www.dennisthepeasant.com

It will be a few days before Expression Engine is installed and running, so be patient.

As of now, I am undecided as to whether I will be transferring any of my old stuff to the new site. Given that it will be, without a doubt, a pain in the ass to do any such transfer, I have my doubts as to whether I will be able to muster the motivation. Your thoughts are welcome.