Dennis the Peasant

Of Empty Suits And Teleprompters...

Perhaps one of the most annoying aspects of the political blogosphere is the excessive regard shown to the "profession" of journalism. Most of this is, of course, because a large number of political bloggers are wannabe journalists (or, more often, wannabe pundits).

Personally, I can't stand journalists. I've had run-ins with more than one of them over the years, and of the lot of them I've met exactly two that weren't completely dead from the neck up. The rest were lazy, stupid and uninformed. They became journalists because one day they woke up during their junior year of college and realized that as a pre-Law student with a GPA of 2.25, perhaps the School of Journalism was the way to go.

Beyond that, it should be noted that journalism isn't a profession. It's a vocation. Journalism has no licensing mechanism, there is no educational requirement, nor is there any sort of experience requirement. It's harder to become a plumber than a news reporter. And that's why you end up with psychos like Jayson Blair at the New York Times: He had no degree, no meaningful experience, no nothing. He was a journalist because some moron at the Times decided to hire him.

Given this state of affairs, it shouldn't be any surprise that some of CNN's more prominent journalistic empty suits have managed to make horse's patoots out of themselves on Celebrity Jeopardy. It's a tribute to CNN's cluelessness that they would even let someone with the intellectual horsepower of Wolf Blitzer anywhere near a quiz show. Have they never actually listened to Wolf, or what?

Of course, CNN can't just go out and admit they have a stable of morons in the newsroom, so now they're in full damage control mode -  as only CNN can do it:

A CNN insider defended the journalists: "They are reporters, not trivia experts. And the buzzer is complicated. It's not activated until Alex [Trebek] finishes the last syllable of the question. If you hit the button too soon, nothing happens."

That's right... The buzzer is complicated. Too complicated for Wolf. And Soledad.

You can't make this stuff up.

Me? I'll Dust Off The Orgasmatron First...

I'm willing to bet that Linda E. Savage doesn't spend time in Ohio. And I'm not surprised she's living somewhere in California. In fact, I'd put that down as a positive. That's because as bad as Ohio is these days, having Californians like Linda E. Savage here would only make things that much worse.

You see, in Ohio, we don't spend a whole lot of time listening to people who say this sort of stuff in public:

Many of you have expressed appreciation for this topic of spiritual sex and I'll share one quote from an email: "So rare do you hear people talking about the *truth* of sex, the beautiful, deeper, connections that can be made that go so beyond physical contact . . ." Whatever level of sexuality you choose, that's great, but I am choosing to write about the realms of sexuality beyond the pure physical act.

And when we do, it's when we're at a comedy club. Maybe folks who spend their lives taking people like Sean Penn, Roger L. Simon and Barbara Boxer seriously really do go to lectures were people peddle this sort of flapdoodle:

...Even though spiritual sex is not synonymous with orgasms, there was considerable discussion about it; some comments even equated "spiritual sex" with "religion and orgasms." To date, all I've said about the subject is that the Performance Model (our culture's prevailing view of sex) has orgasm as its goal. Our culture is preoccupied with producing orgasms and sexual dysfunction is most distressing not only because of lowered self esteem but also because orgasms are negatively impacted (not having one at all, or not having it in the perceived "right way")...

 The "performance model"? It gets better. After informing us of the existence of something called the "conventional" orgasm, she springs this one on us:

However, aside from genitally focused sex, with its relatively rapid release and let down after orgasm, there are two other levels (there are many, but I'm keeping it simple). These are:

Conscious Loving which is the enhancement of partner commitment through loving communion. It includes the experience of the "valley orgasm:" longer lasting and continuing waves of energy moving through the body. It is the heart level of sexuality.

Spiritual Union which is the ecstatic expanded experience producing altered states of consciousness. It encompasses the "cosmic orgasm:" the timeless, boundless state where orgasmic waves move through all the energy centers. Cosmic orgasm can and does occur spontaneously to anyone, but as a practice, it can replenish the life force with release through the crown of the head.

Are you laughing yet? If not, try this:

The truth is we are capable of experiencing orgasms in multiple dimensions. Energy centers, called chakras (meaning "spinning wheels" in Sanskrit) are not anatomical structures in the body but are clusters of oscillating energy. Chakras function like electrical transformers, lowering the vibrating rate of life force energy, called Prana in the Vedic system and enabling it to flow through the body. We are actually an organized combination of several energy systems around a unifying field. If we could see the subtle light bodies around us, we would look somewhat like a "luminous egg." It is the electrical energy generated from the combined subtle systems in and around our bodies. When you received acupuncture, for example, the meridians being stimulated with needles are aspects of these subtle energy systems.

Now, like I said, I'm in Ohio. If I crawled into bed tonight with my loving wife of 26 years and said something like this:

Dear, let's go beyond the performance model of sex tonight. Let's move beyond the conventional orgasm into the realm of conscious loving and the valley orgasm (the name alone will likely get just about any male an immediate slap across the face - DtP). Let's achieve a spiritual union and the cosmic orgasm. Let's have multidimensional sex and see the luminous egg.

I'm pretty sure I'd be sleeping in a guest room for a couple of nights. I'm also pretty sure Muffy would put a lock on the liquor cabinet. And that's good...

It means Muffy isn't a featherhead.

What's scary about all this is that Linda E. Savage is actually credentialed:

1. She's an AASECT certified sex educator,
2. A Diplomate of The American Board of Sexology, and
3. A member of The Institute of Marital and Sexual Therapy.

So evidently there are institutions that endorse the idea of cosmic orgasms and the luminous egg.

Note: How does one become a certified sex educator? Do you have to take required core classes... Like "Oral Sex 101"? Does certification involve having to pass a practical?

Will The Real Timmy Geithner Stand Up?

If I seem less than completely enthusiastic about the Obama Administration's economic policies, it just might be because I have my doubts about Timmy Geithner.

 

The fact guy who's running Treasury, much of the banking industry, and large parts of the auto industry can easily be mistaken for...

 

Henry Spencer of Eraserhead doesn't instill much confidence in yours truly. The fact that he can't keep his taxes straight doesn't help.

The Reason Many Of Us Don't Take Journalism Or Journalists Very Seriously Would Be...?

From Brian Williams, professional journalist and NBC anchor:

To be in the hallway when the president walks by with a handful of M&Ms, popping them in his mouth as he goes to visit his chief of staff -- it was unbelievable.

Christ, it's a good thing Mr. Obama eating twinkies or Brian would have required a change of underwear.

Why doesn't NBC just hire Miley Cyrus to do the news and be done with it.