Dennis the Peasant

The End Of The World As We Know It, Part II

As much as I loathe everything about Barack Obama, I am still in no way ready to re-embrace the Republican Party. Why? Well, try this bit of lunacy on for size...

Pammycakes doing a Republican Party fundraiser.

Pammycakes. 

Republicans paying good money to listen to Pammycakes.

Pammycakes.

Hell, I'd pay good money to avoid listening to her.

I don't get it. Are Texas Republicans are just a bunch of horny, middle-aged men who are too uptight to go to a titty bar? Why not just call it "Racks for Republicans" and be done with it?

Maybe they could add Meghan McCain and make it a twofer. Or would that technically be a fourfer?

Remember, the Republican Party is still a party inhabited - largely -  by morons.
 

It's The End Of The World As We Know It...

Just when you thought the combination of old and new media couldn't dumb it down any further, we get this from Publishers Weekly:

Questioning the Commander-in-Chief

In a quick pre-Frankfurt six-figure sale, Mitchell Ivers at Simon & Schuster/Threshold acquired world English-language rights to The Post-American Presidency by Pamela Geller, the popular Atlas Shrugged blogger, and four-time New York Times bestselling author Robert Spencer (The Truth About Muhammad and The Politically Incorrect Guide to Islam [and the Crusades]). Scott Mendel at the Mendel Media group did the deal and says the book will appeal far beyond Threshold's conservative base. Publication is expected in July 2010.

That's right, Pammycakes is getting published. Pammycakes.No doubt the first edition will be printed in crayon.

You simply cannot make this stuff up.

Note: I would consider this genuinely depressing except for the fact that it is absolutely guaranteed to drive Charles Johnson up the wall... And in my world, a ruined day for The Poodle is a ray of sunshine for me. It will be interesting if he gives it any play over at the cesspool that is Little Green Footballs.

Bad Republican Poetry: The Valentine's Day Edition

Leonard Pinth-Garnell here...

Men, we would do well to remember - here in the post-coital glow of Valentine's Day - just how fast the powerful mixture of testosterone, unattended head trauma and two really big tits can lead to catastrophe. Exhibit One? How about this Valentine's Day poem sent to Pammycakes:

Dear Atlas, you're my Valentine
For I love Guts and Truth.
You're down to Earth yet so divine
You're freedom's hope, your words are wine,
With you on her side, Israel's fine...
You're a veritable Ruth.

When you speak out what you opine
To introduce Marknificent Steyn...
Or pen a pithy Atlas line
Debunking myths of palestine,
And point us to the warning sign
That jihad's a danger not benign,
And where we're heading won't be fine
If we give an inch to those hateful swine...
I cheer you, forsooth.

Yes, Atlas, you're my Valentine
For I love Vim and Verve -
Those twin fruits growing on your vine,
So succulently served on-line,
A pundit's treat so genu-ine -
Your are my day's hors d'oeuvre.

When glimpsing the interior design
Of your home, and how your children shine,
And see you in action... we're on cloud nine,
With tingles up and down our spine
From who you are to all that's thine...
We know which G-d you serve.

So, Atlas, you're my Valentine
For I love poetry
And prose from you is more like rhyme
You turn the mundane to sublime,
In Freedom's cause time after time
From sea to shining sea.

So here's to you my hero-ine,
Stay effervescent and on-line
A hug, a kiss, a wave, some wine
Dear Atlas, you're my Valentine,
With Luv to you from me.

-David

That was really, really bad.

David may love poetry, but it seems obvious poetry does not love him back...

All is not lost, though, by any means. This may be the first Valentine's Day love poem in the history of the world that uses the word "jihad". And I never knew the "twin fruits of the vine" - a rather novel naming of Pammy's pride - were called "Vim" and "Verve". I thought they were "Right" and "Left". Has anyone ever rhymed "Ruth" with "forsooth" before? Or commented on his beloved's interior decorating?

Amazing.

Let this be an abject lesson for all you passionate Republican males out there: If you develop an overwhelming need to express your profound love (or extreme horniness) (or both) in iambic pentameter, throw down your pen and head immediately to the jewelry store. Believe me, she'll thank you for it later...

The Best (Dumbest, That Is) Pammycakes Video Ever...

While watching this bit o' dreck, one must - first and foremost - remember that the folks at the American Conservative Union felt that Conservative Movement would be well served if the bimbo in the video below not only attended, but also spoke, at the Conservative Political Action Conference of 2008.

A couple things to watch for... Notice that she's sitting in a chair covered by (a) plastic, and (b) faux leopard (fun) fur. Remember, some interior decorator got paid for that. Evidently Pammy's not big on re-takes or editing, so when she gags at the start of the video (in sympathy with the rest of us?), it stays in the video. Also note the planning that went into this video... For example, shooting it with a window fronting a busy city intersection wide open.

More notes:

Pammycakes seems to have a compulsive need to sing at people.

It seems Pammy really doesn't like Barak Obama. Per Pammycakes, Barak is...

1) the anti-Christ,
2) an ex-Muslim,
3) kinda like Adolph Hitler,
4) kinda like Jimmy Carter, and
5) still a Muslim.

She forgets to mention he's also black...

It seems Pammy really likes Mitt Romney because Mitt is...

1) "gorgeous".

It seems Pammy - who is really a Conservative - will vote for John McCain because McCain is...

1) not Obama, or
2) as Pammy puts it, "It's a vote against the anti-Christ."

Which, given Pammy's Judaism, raises a number of intriguing theological issues.

My favorite Pammy quotation:

"Yes! He [Barak Obama] was born a Muslim! I have a problem with that. Now it's got nothing to do with Islamophobia, it has to do with the fact that we're engaged in worldwide conflict!"

We're engaged in a worldwide conflict with Barak Obama? Who knew?

My favorite Pammy question:

"Would America have voted for a German-born candidate during World War Two?"

Well, first of all, the Constitution explicitly prohibits foreign born citizens from running for that particular office. Evidently Pammy skipped Constitutional Law while pursuing her degree. And I'm just guessing here, but I'd bet that that prohibition would, in and of itself, probably put a damper on voter enthusiasm.

It's worth noting that during World War Two, the Supreme Allied Commander - Europe was a gentleman by the name of Dwight David Eisenhower (Eisenhauer). He was German-American. Evidently Pammy skipped 20th Century American History while pursuing her degree. One could speculate that Pammycakes - had seen been alive at the time - would have objected strongly to placing a person of such doubtful heritage in such a position of authority. And it's probably beyond any doubt Michelle Malkin would have supported her, too.

Any wonder why Republicans have deserted the "Conservative Movement" and voted for John McCain?

It's Time For The First Annual Pammycakes Does CPAC Poetry Contest...

Leonard Pinth-Garnell here...

Just when you thought the "Conservative Movement" couldn't get any sillier, along comes the opening for Mark Steyn's speech at CPAC 2008... as penned by Pammycakes Geller:

There once was a kafir named Steyn,
Muslims said he wrote an offending line.
Twas an imam he quoted,
Now he's being swiftboated,
But his battle is yours and mine.

Oh, those wacky Conservatives. There wasn't been so much merriment at CPAC since Ann Coulter's barrage of 43 "Raghead" knock-knock jokes in a row back in 2005.

Anyway, it's time for our very own First Annual Pammycakes Does CPAC Poetry Contest, and Leonard will go first:

There once was a site that was Pammy's,
Where singing vlogs gave us the clammys.
Twas the Nasty Muslim she fought,
From the front of the BMW Oshry bought,
'Cause of the way she made him sweat o'er her gammys.

"Oh My Gawd... It's the transmission... Oh My Gawd..."

I strongly encourage everyone to submit the sort of poem you'd imagine Pammycakes would write if Pammycakes could write poetry.

The best poem will win you a life sized genuine replica of the Pandagon Smooth 'N' Shiny Turd O' Death!

Catching Up On Pammycakes…

Quoth Dennis (from last week's post Dumptruck Debbie Furrows Her Brow And Decides Britney Spears Is Part Of The Axis Of Evil…):

I'll give (Dumptruck) Debbie Schlussel credit for one thing; she finds more ways to be batshit crazy than just about any other batshit crazy Conservative pundit than I can think of. And that includes Ann Coulter.

Notice who I didn't mention… That's right: Pammycakes. And to prove it, we have both her blog and her videos. Actually, and in complete fairness, Pammycakes doesn't really approach the sort of craziness you normally see out of Dumptruck. I mean, if there comes a day when there's a news flash out of Detroit about some broad hosing down a couple of dozen civilians with an AK-47, you know the first thing that's going to go through your mind is "Oh my God, Schlussel!" Right? That's not the sort of reaction you'd have with Pammycakes if the same thing happened in New York.

Not that Pammy's more sane, it's just that she'd be afraid of breaking a nail…

Anyway, here's some of the crazy/stupid shit Pammycakes has been up to over the past several weeks.:

Barak Obama, Closet Muslim: Yep, once a Moose-limb, always a Moose-limb… At least as far as Pammycakes is concerned. Not only that, Obama knows many Muslims personally, which is exactly the sort of thing you have to regard with suspicion in a presidential candidate. I mean, everybody knows that Bill Clinton never met a Muslim until after he became President. Hell, there probably aren't any Muslims in Arkansas. And certain neither of the George Bushes knew any before they took office…

Barak Obama, Manchurian Candidate: Evidently Barak is secretly under the diabolical mind control of Muslims. Everybody else has either overlooked it or is too anti-Semitic and/or politically correct to mention it. Fortunately, Pammy's all over this and is on our side…

Barak's Behind A Mess of Other Shit: Everything from election and tribal violence in Kenya to honor killings by Muslims. And if he isn't, he probably will be...

Female Genital Mutilation: Or, as Pammy puts it; clitterror (can the woman turn a phrase, or what?). Pammycakes takes a serious problem and turns it into a bludgeon to work over all Muslims as sex-obsessed deviants. Yeah, I was surprised, too. In a sense, her concern for the victims of FGM mirrors that of Amanda Marcotte - i.e., she's concerned about them when it is useful in furthering her agenda... which has nothing to do with FGM.

John Bolton Is God: The Church of Boltonology is a rather small denomination that believes John Bolton descended from a space ship to cleanse the Earth of all "M.L."s (that's Bolton-speak for "Moose-Limbs"). Rumor has it that a famous Hollywood actor is the Number Two Man in the Church. Ron Silver denies it, though.

Muslim Sex Problems: Evidently some Muslims have problems on there wedding night. Yep… We're talking 'The Clench' and 'The Droop'. Two problems Pammy's never experienced and cannot understand… And cannot understand in great detail.

Bill and Hillary Killed Vince Foster: I kid you not. Well, at least they're not Muslims.

The Obligatory Dust-Up With Charles Johnson Over Vlaams Belang: Poor Charles, he just can't understand how - all the sudden - he ended up in the company of racists! Especially when all he was doing was showing us why all Muslims must die. Who'd a thunk it? Of course, Pammy's ready to argue to the death that she's never consorted with racists…

The 'Keep Atlas Shrugs Going' Beg-a-thon: Remember when it was Geller-Oshry. Well, Mr. Oshry (also know as "the alimony check") managed to get himself into some serious legal trouble, and ol' Pammy's since dropped the "-Oshry" like it was a two pound steaming turd. Evidently this is how Pammy's gonna get that new fur coat every blogger grrrl needs now that she's on her own…

Little Orphan Oshry... she needs a new coat.

Great Moments In Internet Journalism: The December, 2007 Vast Right Wing Conspiracy Edition

Well, I've come up with yet another new feature here at Dennis The Peasant. Being as how I keep asking such inconvenient questions as, "Do you have any facts to support your conclusion?" and "Have you actually read the document you are discussing?" and "Do you have the faintest fucking idea of what the fuck you're talking about?", it seems logical that I should share some of my favorite moments in internet journalism for the month of December.

Why, you ask?

Because as we all know, New Media will be crushing the Mainstream Media any day now… Roger says so.

WINNER OF THE FRANKLIN FOER AWARD FOR ACCURACY IN JOURNALISM: Pamela "Pammycakes" Geller of Atlas Shrugs

Nothing screams "seriousness of purpose" like hawking your likeness on men's underwear and producing rambling, largely pointless YouTube videos as you blog, with increasing hysteria, about the End of Western Civilization As We Know It™. I guess this is what happens when you have a lot of money in your pockets, way too much time on your hands and don't know how to play mah-jongg.

Here's Pammycakes' hit parade for December:

November 29: Yes, I know November 29 isn't actually in the month of December, but I'm really getting into the spirit of things here. Anyway, back on November 29 Pammycakes put up a post about the guilty plea of a Rockville, Illinois man who planned to blow up a Rockville, Illinois shopping mall. Pammy's header:

Ohio Lone Jihadi Pleads Guilty

December 10: Pammycakes puts up a post about a YouTube video. The post is entitled The Right To Lie In Islam. Per Pammy:

In Shia Islam you can lie when advancing the cause of Islam as better [sic] explained by a Muslim scholar.

Interestingly enough, when you go to the YouTube page of this particular "Muslim scholar", one Obaid Karki, what one finds is that Mr. Karki isn't exactly claiming to be a Muslim scholar… Rather, one finds that Mr. Karki sees himself as an…

Independant [sic] Street-Knowledge Talkshow Guru. Unaffiliated to A State, Organized Religion, Sect or Kin. Anti Tribal Gentile.

And if that isn't enough, he's also a…

Spinoziste Pantheon Urban Automath Hexalingual 150 Pages per Hour. Self-taught oneself without formal instruction or help of others with an enthusiasm for self-education and a high degree of self-motivation to debate.

As noted, Mr. Karki doesn't make mention of any scholarly training in things Islamic, although his professed enjoyment of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Australian Rules Football makes it obvious that he's spent quite a bit of time in the local madrassa.

December 16: Pammy posts CAIR's Al-Akhras to head Ohio Civil Rights Commission? Here's the sort of sophisticated analysis that's made Geller what she is today:

More submission. More sharia. More more more for Islam, less less less America. Patrick Poole exposes the dirt on the latest skulduggery [sic] in Ohio.

Unfortunately for Pammycakes, there were two minor problems… No dirt and no skullduggery. Pseudo-journalist Patrick Poole posted a "rumor" (his choice of words, not mine) on his web site claiming that Gov. Strickland was going to name Al-Akhras to head the Ohio Civil Rights Commission. The rumor was based on "information" (my choice of words, not his) from an "unnamed source" close to the "situation". On December 18, Poole retracted the entire thing. Pamela must have missed that part, because in original, uncorrected post is still up at Atlas Shrugs.

Yeah, I'm surprised, too.

WINNER OF THE 'DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN' AWARD FOR "OOPS, I JUMPED THE GUN" JOURNALISM: Patrick Poole of Central Ohioans Against Terrorism (and Pajamas Media)

Patrick Poole is a free-lance writer who spends a lot of time writing about The Muslim Menace™ here in Central Ohio. As nobody in Central Ohio will give him the time of day, he ends up getting published by the likes of David Horowitz (Front Page Magazine) and Roger L. Simon (Pajamas Media). Need I say more?

December 16: As mentioned above, Patrick Poole posts a "rumor" that Ohio's governor is going to appoint a "radical" Muslim (is there any other kind?) to head the Ohio Civil Rights Commission, based on information provided by a "reliable" but unnamed source.

December 18: Poole publishes a retraction, saying the information from his reliable but unnamed source turned out to be, well, unreliable.

WINNER OF THE DAN RATHER RELENTLESS PURSUIT OF TRUTH AWARD IN JOURNALISM: Charles "The Poodle" Johnson of Little Green Footballs (and newly ex-Pajamas Media)

December 16: Charles "The Poodle" Johnson takes a short break from vilifying Gates of Vienna for publishing inaccurate information about an obscure Flemish political party to publish Patrick Poole's rumor about Muslims taking over the Ohio Civil Rights Commission. To date, Johnson's post has not been removed or corrected at Little Green Footballs.

WINNER OF THE TOM FRIEDMAN AWARD FOR THE BIGGEST JOURNALISTIC BLUFF REGARDING KNOWLEDGE OF THE SUBJECT BEING DISCUSSED: Glenn "Glenn Harlan" Reynolds of Instapundit.

Glenn demonstrates what we non-lawyers already knew: Lawyers know everything about everything.

December 24: Glenn Harlan posts the following…

THIS SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT: "If a nuclear war between Israel and Iran were to break out 16-20 million Iranians would lose their lives - as opposed to 200,000-800,000 Israelis, according to a report recently published by the Washington-based Center for Strategic and International Studies."

Unfortunately, as Glenn fails to provide us a copy his own study of casualties in an Israeli-Iranian nuclear conflict, we'll just have to take his word for it. I'm told that next week he tells us Einstein's Theory of Relativity sounds "about right".

HONORABLE MENTION: THE FRANKLIN FOER AWARD FOR ACCURACY IN JOURNALISM: Baron Bodissey and Dymphna of Gates of Vienna (part of the Pajamas Media network)

Remember, somewhere along the way, Roger L. Simon, Charles Johnson and Glenn Reynolds looked at Gates of Vienna and said, "Gee, this is the sort of first-rate blogging we want for our tipping-point, opinion-leading audience. Let's give them money…"

December 17: The Baron posts Sharia Financing In Minneapolis?, and based on the musings of noted expert on all things Islamic and financial, James Lileks, decides the City of Minneapolis is unconstitutionally discriminating against non-Muslims by offering Sharia-compliant lusiness development loans to Muslims.

December 19: Half-assed Ohio C.P.A. and D-list blogger Dennis The Peasant takes roughly one hour to read up on Sharia finance and the various available City of Minneapolis business development loan programs and then writes a post demonstrating conclusively that neither James Lileks nor Baron Bodissey were close to understanding what a Sharia-compliant loan is, as well as pointing out that neither had bothered to actually check the City of Minneapolis' web site and read the description of the loan program in question. Other than the fact that the loans weren't no-cost and were available to both Muslims and non-Muslims, the reporting of Lileks and The Baron is flawless.

December 19: Gates of Vienna blogger Dymphna posts Mr. Peasant is Disgusted by Our Ignorance, which, quite lightheartedly, reproduces my post regarding Sharia Financing In Minneapolis? in full… and without acknowledging or correcting Baron Bodissey's errors. Lileks is too busy pondering Gnat to post anything regarding the loan scandal he uncovered.

December 19: Baron Bodissey notes the murder in Sweden of Professor Fuat Deniz by persons unknown. Despite reporting that the Swedish police have neither leads nor motive, the Baron opines that it must have been the work of Turkish Muslims because Deniz was working on a book about Ottoman genocide of Assyrian Christians. Additionally, and without any additional information to support his claim, Baron Bodissey continues to write posts suggesting "the Turks" are responsible for the murder to this very date.

THE HUNTER S. THOMPSON GRAND PRIZE AWARD FOR FEARLESS INVESTIGATIVE REPORTING BY A JOURNALIST NOT PRESENTLY UNDER PSYCHIATRIC CARE: Annie Jacobsen of Pajamas Media

In the tradition of Michael Ledeen's pronouncement that Ayatollah ali Khamenei was dead (which came, no doubt, as a shock to the Ayatollah) and Philippe Karsenty's pronouncement that Fidel Castro was dead (which came, no doubt, as a shock to ol' Fidel), I give you the wondrous reportings of Annie Jacobsen… With the appropriately hilarious set-up by the geniuses at Pajamas Media.

Five crop-duster planes have crashed on the terror-plagued island of Mindanao in a short period of time. Annie Jacobsen says that while it may feel like Mindanao is half a world away, the island’s plantations are linked to the international food supply chain. Is it time to start worrying about what’s being sprayed on your bananas?

What red-blooded, true-blue American hasn't worried about the state of their bananas? Anyway…

December 21: Jacobsen posts Is Terrorism Behind [The] Mysterious Crop-Duster Crashes In [The] Philippines? on Pajamas Media's web site. In said post Jacobsen speculates, without a shred of evidence to support such speculation, that five separate crashes of crop dusting planes on the island of Mindanao could be linked to The Muslim Menace™. How they are linked to said Muslim Menace™ isn't explained, but one would have to conclude that Jacobsen is suggesting that Filipino Muslims are sabotaging the island's crop-dusters so they can bring in terrorist crop-dusters to poison the banana crop with terrorist crop-dusting poisons. How they are supposed to pull this off isn't elaborated upon. Nor is how the poisoned bananas are supposed to elude detection prior to being consumed by whomever consumes the Filipino bananas mentioned. My favorite moment? Try this…

Here’s a rundown on the Mindanao Island crop-duster crashes as they were reported in newspapers in South East Asia, China, and the Middle East.

[snip]

Also on November 19, 2007, 8:00 a.m: Both Cebu City News and Asian Journal Online report that two crop-dusters collided midair in the remote village of Kapalong.

[T]wo crop-duster aircraft collided in mid-air, killing one of pilot and seriously injuring the other, said Chief Superintendent Atilano Morada, director of the Aviation Secretary Group, in a phone interview. Frederick San Felix, Davao area manager of Air Transportation Office (ATO), said the two spray planes collided while spraying chemicals on the banana plantation of Alberto M. Soriano in the village of Maniki in Kapalong town at past 8 a.m.

How did the terrorists manage to get two crop-dusting aircraft to collide in mid-air? Hey, it wouldn't be The Muslim Menace™ if we knew that, now would it?. Anyway, Anne goes on to state, portentously…

The world’s banana consumer would be wise to wonder, what’s being sprayed on my banana?

I intend to ask Muffy that very question this very evening. I'll let you know how it works out.

Still Another Great Moment In Internet Journalism: The Pammycakes Edition...

Well, well, well... It seems our Pammycakes managed to get herself published in a real, live newspaper (Israel National News) last week. As you can imagine, this got me more than just a little worried. Was my Pammycakes going mainstream? Had she achieved *gasp* minimal competence?

I worried about it all weekend... Let's face it, Debbie Schlussel is way too P.M.M. (potential mass murderer) crazy to mock on a regular basis, Michelle Malkin isn't PMSing about Geraldo on The Factor any more, and I'm already doing Amanda Marcotte every other day. If I lost Pammycakes, I'd have to go out and find me a replacement. And the truth of the matter is this: You don't find a Pammycakes growing on trees.

But I guess I needn't have worried... at least about that. What I really needed to worry about is the amount of bandwidth I'm going to have to pay for to keep updating Great Moments In Internet Journalism: The Pammycakes Edition. For example, if you go to Atlas Shrugs and look up her post entitled The Right To Lie In Islam from December 10, what you will find is this video...

... and the following typically potentious Pammycakes admonition on the Evils of Islam™:

In Shia Islam you can lie when advancing the cause of Islam as better explained by a Muslim scholar.

Me being me, I recognized the face of Pammycakes' "Muslim scholar" immediately: He's the rather quaint, colorful and not altogether in-his-right-mind Obaid Karki. I know this because Obaid Karki used Dennis The Peasant as a tag on several of his 504 or so Youtube videos. The two videos in question were brought to my attention during a scan of Technorati one day, and featured Obaid Karki rambling about a $10 million debt owed him by the Dubai Water Department. Evidently the Dubai Water Department spends a fair amount of time at Youtube. And to make his case, Obaid stocked each video chock full of video and computer screen shots of documentation proving he was owed that $10 million.

How I ended up as a tag on those videos will probably remain one of those minor internet mysteries we bloggers run into now and again...

In any event, here's the bulk of Obaid's Youtube page (here's the whole thing, if you want it):

obaidkarki
Style: Spiritual

Born: 09 15 1952 Burr Dubai. Nationality: UAE
Status: Fired for being an Outcast.
His USD$10Millions Receivables due
still Unpaid By Dubai Goverment.
Address: Villa No 6 Alurouba Street Jumeira One Dubai UAE
Mobile: +971504590548
Email: okrecord@yahoo.com
http:/www.youtube.com/obaidkar ki
Academia: Bsc Soil & Water Engineering University of Baghdad 1976
Personality: An Outcast Kabbalist Spinoziste Pantheon Hexalingual 150 PPH Automath
Former UAE Under Secretary
Independant Street-Knowledge Talkshow Guru. Unaffiliated to A State, Organized Religion, Sect or Kin. Anti Tribal Gentile.
Name: Obaid Karki
Age: 55

Spinoziste Pantheon Urban Automath Hexalingual 150 Pages per Hour. Self-taught oneself without formal instruction or help of others with an enthusiasm for self-education and a high degree of self-motivation to debate.
1967-1972
EDUCATION: Alshaab Intermediate & Dubai Secondary School
WORK FOR PUBLIC SECTOR: Delivery Tally Clerk & Customs Intern Officer in AKAC Jetty
WORK FOR PRIVATE SECTOR: Gray Mackenzie Intern Assistant Shed Supervisor.
IT PENETRATION: Before the Great Dark Cloud
WIND OF CHANGE: Earn Higher Education
BOTTOM-LINE EARNING: Paid Off
1972-1976
EDUCATION
University of Baghdad: College of Agriculture Department of Soil Science & Water Engineering.
WORK FOR PUBLIC SECTOR: Dorm Catering & Students Mass Transportation
IT PENETRATION: Intel 4040 & 8080 4-bit line Zilog Z-80 - 8-bit line Pascal Design System Language FIG-FORTRAN Cobol MUMPS Scelbi & Mark-8 Altair & IBM 5100 Computers and ALGOL
WIND OF CHANGE: Patriotism crap serve the infancy of Motherland get experience and change of venue.
BOTTOM-LINE EARNING: paid off
1976-1984
WORK FOR PUBLIC SECTOR: UAE Ministry of Agriculture & Fisheries Deputy Minister
WORK FOR PRIVATE SECTOR: Condor Trading Agencies & Hydrosystems General Trading Assembly Repair & Sales of Water Supply Irrigation Equipment & Others.
IT PENETRATION: Intel 8080 8-bit to 80286 Office Software and General Purpose Software Operating System Design Principles From electric typewriters to WYSIWYG
WIND OF CHANGE FROM PUBLIC SECTOR: FIRED for 8 counts
UAE water augmentation by trying tug an Iceberg from Antarctica to Dubai 1976
Combat desertification 1977
The landscape of the impossible 1980-1982
Use LANDSAT images to further water & soil resources and the discovery of nothing beneath UAE but oil. 1979-1984
Pioneer design & build dams to recharge aquifers. 1978-1984
Smuggle Israeli Technology of pressurized irrigation system to local farmers for free. 1980
Introduction of Telex Fax & Computer into the Federal Government. 1976
Rural Fisheries and Agrarian development project net worth USD$215 millions.
with no pension or social security benefits.
1984-1985
HH SH Maktoum Bin Rashid Nadd Al Shiba Landscape & Green Belt Project
WIND OF CHANGE FROM PUBLIC SECTOR: a moral sense and special favor never paid off
BOTTOM-LINE EARNING: pending USD$500000.00 unpaid un-invoiced on face value.
WORK FOR PRIVATE SECTOR: Condor Trading Agencies & Hydrosystems General Trading Assembly Repair & Sales of Water Supply & Irrigation Equipment & Others. Mail order business fashion show indoor plants flowers exotic pets heavy duty equipments etc.
IT PENETRATION: Intel 80286 2 16-bit Applications: Aldus Pagemaker Trillian Wordstar Computer Chess VisiCalc Spreadsheet. Languages: ASCII BASIC FORTRAN HTML Java JavaScript Lingo Used in Director and Shockwave Operating Systems MS-DOS Windows
Wind of change: a moral sense and special favor never paid off
WIND OF CHANGE FROM PRIVATE SECTOR: Dubai Water department denied payment & never return our goods.
BOTTOM-LINE EARNING: USD$10 Millions never paid.
1985-1990
WORK FOR PRIVATE SECTOR: Moved to Al-Ain City & Established a Mega Contracting Company for Landscape Sanitary Drainage and Pipeline Company
IT PENETRATION: Intel 80286 2 16-bit 80386 3 to 80486 32-bit SPARC Structured programming object-oriented programming CASE tools ADA Java documentation standards and Unified Modeling Language Wind of change: New Experience Challenge & Change of Venue paid off.
WIND OF CHANGE: Work Smart Total Quality New Experience. Purely Boldness.
BOTTOM-LINE EARNING: Paid off nicely
1990-2006
WORK FOR PRIVATE SECTOR
General Trading Metals Commodities Super Computers High End Spare Parts and Accessories for all kind of industries. Defense Contracting etc. Mainly on Overseas Market.
IT Penetration
Intel 80486 to 586 Pentium Intel Core 8 32-bit to 265-bit Information Superhighway Lightweight Methodologies The use of rapid-prototyping evolved to entire lightweight methodologies such as Extreme Programming XP which attempted to simplify many areas of software engineering including requirements gathering and reliability testing for the growing vast number of small software systems. to managing the development and maintenance of software calculations and algorithms information storage retrieval and display.
WIND OF CHANGE: Work Smart Total Quality New Experience. Purely Boldness.
BOTTOM-LINE EARNING: Paid off nicely
2007 to Present
Seized work and started my own a talk show on youtube for on fitness & spirituality
City: Dubai
Hometown: Jumeirah One
Country: United Arab Emirates
Occupation: Codex
Companies: oktrade
Interests and Hobbies: music, science, cartoons/anime, sumo, professional wrestling, martial arts, computers etc., calculators, Australian rules football, role playing games, interactive fiction, gamebooks, collectible card games, shortwave radio, radio scanning, old time radio, calligraphy, MST3K, British comedies, science fiction, Sherlock Holmes, tea, Mensa, numbers, warlording, miscellaneous.

Now I'd be the last person on Earth to claim any special knowledge of what your typical Muslim scholar's resume might look like, but something tells me the above ain't it. Although I am pretty sure most Muslim scholars, especially the really radical ones, do enjoy Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Australian Rules Football.

In other words, Pammycakes found ol' Obaid, probably while she was having one of her episodes, and decided he had to be a Muslim scholar because he had one of those tablecloth thingys on his head and talked funny. And once again, one of our self-proclaimed defenders agin the dire threat o' Islam has demonstrated their inability to control their paranoia and avoid making a complete ass of themselves.

If Pammycakes is the frontline of our defense agin jihadis, we are most certainly doomed.

Well, that's all for this week's Great Moments In Internet Journalism: The Pammycakes Edition. It's a relief to know that she's still with us... I don't know if could find her equal.

Yet Another Great Moment In Internet Journalism...

I've been so busy stalking Amanda Marcotte over the past couple of weeks that I've managed to ignore the comings and goings of Pammycakes. That can only be considered neglectful. In fairness to my own true self, though, it should be noted that it took some time to recover from the rap video thingy she did with her kids...

Anyway, Pammycakes has come up with a hummer this time, and I'd be remiss if I didn't point it out to you. Fortunately, it isn't video-related, so you don't actually have to listen to her. Reading her November 29 post, Ohio Lone Jihadi Pleads Guilty, one finds the particulars of the Global Islamic Conspiracy become... well, confused. Quoth the Pammycakes:

Single cells, small cells, networks, global jihad, ................ it's war baby.

She then goes to quote extensively from an article posted at nationalterroralert.com about one Derrick Shareef:

A Rockford, Ill., man, admitted today in Federal Court that he planned to set off several grenades in garbage cans at a shopping mall in Rockford last December. The defendant, Derrick Shareef, 23, pleaded guilty to one count of attempting to use a weapon of mass destruction.

Notice anything, um, somewhat amiss? How about here:

The indictment against Shareef alleged that he planned to set off several grenades at the CherryVale Shopping Mall, near the junction of Interstate 90 and Interstate 39 on the east side of Rockford, about 90 miles northwest of Chicago.

Note that this is what Pammycakes quoted on her own site about the affair.

Now I fully realize that for simple folk living in New York City, everything west of the Hudson River is a blur until one arrives at Los Angeles. However, the last time I checked, Central Ohio was not located in Rockford, Illinois. Although, with all the Somali Muslims we have running around here, they probably could have picked up Columbus and moved it to Rockford while we were sleeping... Nobody'd know until they tried to drive to Grove City and ended up in Chicago instead.

So, evidently, Pammycakes got herself all excited (hey, she filed her post under Jihad in America: Enemy In Our Midst, Killing America and Lone Jihadi aka Sudden Jihad Syndrome... so it's clear she's pretty wound up about this) and ended up confusing Derrick Shareef with Nuradin Abdi and Rockford, Illinois with Columbus, Ohio.

I suppose I shouldn't harsh on her too much, I can't say I'd have been surprised if CNN had done the same...

This Is Probably Going To Scar Me For Life...

Chances are I'll end up back in therapy, too.

And Norman's goddamn rates are probably over $200 an hour now.

Thanks for nothing, Pammycakes.

SHIT!

BOB SAGET!

Then again, maybe I should go visit the family over Thanksgiving. Perhaps their love and support will make the difference between a lifetime of nightmares and, well, happiness...

Ah, family...